Time is irrelevant when we’re on a journey. It takes as long as it takes.
I was stepping into uncharted territory. The uncertainty now my choice.
Rather than entering a front door where many days I didn’t know what I was stepping in to, locking the front door for the last time felt incredibly freeing. For the first time in 32 years, I had no pets, no partner, and no rent or mortgage. I was totally unencumbered.
At first, as I unwound my old life, I wanted to know where I would be. I always liked a good plan. Yet after a month on the road and then a month in Thailand, I stepped into an ever-deeper level of trust, many times not knowing where I would be two days hence.
The further in, the more I realized how much I’d been living in a paradigm of other people’s ideas and dreams. We do things in order to fit in, but what if we didn’t try to conform anymore in order to be accepted? This energy is so old and runs so deep many don’t see or recognize it.
Many asked if I felt any fear, traveling solo as a woman. I answered honestly, “No.” I didn’t wander carelessly. I also knew this question was based on their own fear. Hearing, “you’re so brave.” To me, being out and on the road felt completely natural.
Certain places tugged at my heartstrings. Not having an agenda allowed me to stay and explore a little longer. I traveled off the beaten path and met amazing humans.
People who were perfect mirrors, sometimes reflecting the exact things I’d been avoiding, or seeing things in me that I didn’t yet see. I had nowhere to look but at that reflection back to me, to step into my own healing.
I had the honor of sharing this gift of energy healing in nearly every location I visited. Like meeting a couple on the beach in GA and providing clarity in 10 minutes. Others as deep healing sessions releasing layers of trauma and seeing tears of joy in their release. Distance healing for a friend with a brain infection where she felt the pain flow out of her head as pressure was released. I am humbled by the experiences and trust people showed to me.
A journey such as this isn’t to find oneself, it’s remembering who we are underneath the layers. Getting to the core of our being. Finding and embodying trust, forgiveness and grace along the way.
I traveled with much more than I needed and I learned just how little we need to experience an amazing existence. The ideals I lived with for so many years are no longer my ideals moving forward.
We are meant to experience true joy and now that I’ve truly encountered it, there is no turning back. As Dorothy says to Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, “we can’t go back the same way we got here.”
8 months and 1 day, traveling through 21 states and one foreign country, 23 different hot springs, 15,190 miles driven. Yet these are just metrics in a journey that is still revealing itself.
There is much more to be shared, in due time. In the meantime, life is to be experienced, in whatever way you choose.
Your way, your rules.
This is the magic of letting go.