Why is it so hard to stand up for ourselves when we know doing so will make someone else uncomfortable? It’s sometimes easier to sit in our unease rather than feel the full emotions of a situation. But what’s the price of resignation?
When you’re unhappy with a situation and don’t say anything, the other person doesn’t know any better and goes on their merry way. Do they think it’s OK? Hard to say. But by not saying anything, why would they think any differently?
Sometimes there’s the silent treatment. Many days I walked around my house, going through the motions and not speaking to my spouse. Talking about the upset I felt with his drinking didn’t go anywhere with him, so I stopped talking about it. All that pain and discomfort went inside. I felt worse, numbed myself to what was going on, and he none the wiser.
I ran into a woman yesterday, our husbands used to be drinking buddies. There was a sadness in her face that I recognized. A feeling that I used to know all too well. She shared that her husband drinks “just enough, just to the line.” The line of her discomfort? The line of her saying I can’t do this anymore? As we ended our conversation, she shared that they’d been married for so many years, what was she going to do?
That look of resignation broke my heart. Feeling trapped within our own lives. Feeling like there aren’t any options. Feeling like it’s too late.
It’s never too late.
If you think about it, there’s discomfort no matter what. Say something. Don’t say something.
Are you living your life avoiding the discomfort?
Or do you choose you?
There is another way and so much good on the other side.